As the partner of a transgendered person, I found it difficult for quite some time, to find both support and information which could help me.
I thought I was alone, dealing with a myriad of confusing and conflicting emotions. What would people say? I was too nervous of their response to tell anyone. So I isolated myself. I didn’t know what else I could do. But I think I made it all harder for myself as a result.
Fortunately, my partner convinced me to attend an Agender National Conference in Wellington, set up to support transgender people in New Zealand. The information I found there was very useful, and I found unexpected support in the Partners’ Programme. I heard that other people experience many of the same things as me.
Since then, my search for information has intensified. The internet was helpful in some ways, but there was also a lot of uninformed, inaccurate and unreliable opinion.
I looked for books, and even found a few on partners’ issues. The good ones put into words some of the experiences Jane and I; and/or some of the other couples we met in the TG community; have had.
Are there more commonalities? I’d like to know. And I’d like to share that information with other partners of TGs as resources for them and others to use on their own very personal journey.
So I am planning a resource book (or books), to share the stories, experiences and collective wisdom of us all. Excerpts will also very likely end up on gender-friendly websites on the basis that the more ways we can spread our insights, the more people we can touch, and hopefully help.
There is also another Agender Conference planned in June this year, in Christchurch. Jane is one of the organizers. How much more can we help partners of transgendered people if we have done some investigative research beforehand?
So this is the project. A questionnaire to learn more about us individually and as a group. It would help me very much (and I hope, you, too!) if each of you took the time to fill out the questionnaire. If you are the TG, would you please encourage your partner to do so. When the completed response is returned to me, the person who completed it will be added to the list of people to receive a summary of the initial results absolutely free!
The results will be published. But there will be no identifying information to out you in any way, unless you choose for that to happen. I understand and absolutely respect your right to privacy. I am interested in your stories, your experience and your insights; not your full name, address and details.
What I do ask for, however, is that you give me a Christian name and a town/city that you live in, that I can attach to any story or excerpt that is published, to give authenticity and to show the diversity of people involved. Some of you may like to email me a photograph of you to use as well, if you don’t mind the possibility of identification. Not a photo of anyone else, just you.
I also ask that when you send back your completed questionnaire to my email address, you copy and complete the contents of the box below entitled “Disclosure Agreement”, on to the bottom of your answers. Unless that appears at the end of your responses, your information will not be used in the narrative.
Thank you for your help! I hope you will find the questions thought-provoking and interesting. I hope you will see in them a chance to tell your story; and to help other people. And remember, send in your response, and I GUARANTEE to provide you with a FREE summary of the initial results by email.
Kathryne Reynolds
(Partner of Jane London)
Complete Questionaire